SOME ARMY HUMOR

"Aim towards the enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Army rocket launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army training notice

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate.  From 30,000 feet, every single bomb always hits the ground." - U.S. Air Force ammunition memo

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it.  That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army preventive maintenance publication

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance Corps memo

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col. David H Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper - once." - Anonymous

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Army recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your buddies

"If you see a bomb disposal technician running, try to keep up with him." - U.S. Army ordnance manual