Fellow Educators Beware! Sniggle!
...At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later
discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.
Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious
al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math
instruction. Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search
of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like
"x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to
as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and
are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math
instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. Therefore, I'm
extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on
protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to disintegrate us with
calculus disregard.
These statistic bums love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under
the circumferences, it's time we differentiated their root, made our point, and
drew the line. These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal
everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents
of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex.
As our Great Leader would say, "Read my ellipse."
Here is one principle he is uncertainty of – though they continue to multiply,
their days are numbered and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.