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Some Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn
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1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it
was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) The two were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) If I could read what he read when reading the reading
I'd know the temperature too.
23) The two of them went to town too.
24) I see the C in the sea.
25) So his wife, who was sewing, no longer had to help
with the sowing.
26) My bookie books orders in his books.
27) The CS student wrote code to dequeue from his dequeue.
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Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There's no
egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French
fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its
paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing
rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
nor is it a pig. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in
hamburger; and neither apple nor pine in pinapple. And
why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of
booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index,
2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not
one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all
but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what
language do people:
Recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while
a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which
you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an
alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it
reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible;
but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
A line of string attached next to a line on the wall said
that a line in the story tells that John does have a line on
a line of new telephone lines, but if he says he can line
you up with a discount, then he's only throwing you a line.
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